Cougar Town

This episode missed the mark. Not only did it have a creepy tone that seemed to glorify divorce more than empower divorcees, but once again there was a lack of clear winning designs and a lot of crap.
The challenge was to convert an old wedding dress into a fashionable look for divorced women.
Instantly after model selection, Shirin starts her tiny woman whinefest. "I got nothing to work with", life is unfair...blah blah blah. Does she know how many picks Epperson got selected last? He needs to tell Shirin to man up.
Ironically, in the midst of her complaining, tears, and generally tired dramatics she said "I'm such a strong person." If you SAY so...
Tim came through and announced that the winner of this challenge will be granted immunity for next week and that this is the last opportunity for immunity in the competition. He elicits a round of groans when he lets everyone know this is a one day challenge.
The divorcees come in and consult. Nothing out of the ordinary except Shirin's make me a feathered Cher costume woman and Nicolas' crazy hippie (maybe they should've switched? Shirin's lady needed a feather prince).
The designers did get a trip to Mood with a budget of $25 for up to 2 yards of fabric and anything else they needed.

The judges this week:
Michael Kors (still back)
Zanna Roberts
Tamara Mellon (she was basically not present as far as I can recall)

Althea


I don't think the idea is bad, it almost seems cute on first glance, but it's like the leaning tower of Pisa. It has all these sloppy bits that turn it fug. The cups are odd, the back just looks messy. It misses the mark.

Carol Hannah


I actually thought this dress was great. I did write wtf shrug. It was just wrong. Bad color, didn't work for the dress at all.

Christopher


I wrote cute belt in my notes. That's really all I can say for it. I'm about to be cruel now, but only because Chris' client said she was an actress. I'm sure she could get work - but only as a transvestite. She looks like a man (Iggy Pop, in fact). She had her hair and makeup professionally done and it did nothing! This has no bearing on the ugly dress though.

Epperson


I totally see what the judges were saying, but I thought the dress wasn't ugly. I can't say the same for many other designs this week.

Gordana


I love this dress. Deserved win. That said, the hair/makeup/accessories stink. She does not know how to put a look together.

Irina


She does know how to put a look together. Must be all that dog accessorizing. However, I don't care for this dress. The look as a whole is strong, the dress seems well made, it just doesn't really look flatting to me. I think the sleeves and chest are throwing me off. It's an almost.

Logan


Hideous. In the words of one judge, a "tragedy." This is yet another piece in support of my "Logan will win for pretty" theory from last week.

Nicolas


This is also craptastic. Not as bad as Logan's but really, Nicolas even said it was hideous.

Shirin


Cute, but really? It was so average and something you could buy at any mall...

Bryant Park Three
1. Carol Hannah
2. Logan
3. Shirin

Blue Velvet

Heidi is loving the stupid challenge "jokes" to open runway episodes this season. She teased the designers with the enigmatic (and factually incorrect) "this next challenge with be quite...colorful." Shirin made another stupid supposition wondering if the challenge will be sewing colorful parachutes together. If only!
Tim is paired with another sponsor tie-in bot: Martine Reardon from Macy's corporate marketing. The timing is unfortunate considering the current news buzz about the possible bankruptcy of Macy's.
The designers are informed that they must use the color blue and design a piece for Macy's INC brand. Wow, what an interesting challenge! *eyeroll*
Martine gives her company the ultimate backhanded compliment by stating that the "best thing abot this brand [INC] is it's only available at Macy's."
I wholeheartedly agree with her. I would be pretty bummed out if I ran into INC in other places, since (in my opinion) it's a shitty, overpriced brand.
The designers are also informed that this is a team challenge and that the winner does not have immunity this week. Unsurprisingly, the results or this challenge were grossly mediocre.
There was some Nicolas talking smack on Louise, Epperson talking smack on Q, Tim talking smack on leggings (couldn't agree more), and Nicolas talking about how much he hates ruffles.
Maybe ruffles hate YOU, Nicolas. I know I do.
Judging:
I didn't know that INC makes shoes now too, yet another reason to avoid Macy's.
Michael Kors is back and I bet he's regretting it.
We also have Zanna Roberts from Marie Claire, and Martine Reardon again.


Althea and Logan




That suit is not modern so much as slutty (that skirt is invisible).
The pants are fine, but I don't care for the top.


Carol Hannah and Shirin




I love a high waisted skirt, and this one is cute. I like the whole thing, but it reads a little flight attendant-y or something service oriented.
I like the top and the belt, but leggings ARE NOT PANTS. I wish they had made some skinny jeans instead.
This was much better than the Irina/Gordana crap.


Chris and Epperson




I agree about the first being off. I don't like the neckline. I have always hated bubble hem. The second, I just don't think it's that bad. It's not super feminine, but I think they were bashing it excessively.


Irina and Gordana




I may be in the minority or crazy, but I hate that dress. I don't like stripes, but I think the top is overexposed, it makes the model looks fat, and the hem is an awkward length. I know that the choices this week were few and everything was pretty boring/ugly (but hey, so is the INC brand in general) but I was kinda flabbergasted by the judges gushing over this.
I thought Gordana's top looked nice on tv, but I really think it looks cheap in these stills.


Louise and Nicolas




Both suck.

So, quite unfathomably, Irina won - her prize: to design an INC holiday dress for select Macy's stores. Look what she made:

This looks custom designed for Mariah Carey. What a cheap, tacky-crap ho "dress". I hate it. Perfect for INC.

Heidi was unusually cruel this week and I felt a bit bad for Louise and weepy Chris. Louise was the right choice to be aufed, and I did delight in Heidi telling Nicolas he was lucky he had immunity for the 10th time. Heh heh.

The wheels in my head have been turning, as the designers get whittled down, about a certain gentleman by the name of Logan. Here is my "Logan Hypothesis".
Logan is PR kryptonite. As far as I recall, he is the first HOT STRAIGHT MALE the show has EVER had as a contestant. Please tell me if I am wrong on this.
What this means: all of the women are in love with him (and think they might have a chance since he's supposed to be straight), all of the men are in love with him (because let's face it, he's the ONLY straight guy in front of the camera) and think that he might be a closet gay - or at least bi (because how many straight male fashion designers are there?). What does this mean? NO ONE wants to get rid of him. He has never been in the bottom, despite never making anything interesting. One guest judge (at least) has hit on him. I think he will skate all the way to Bryant Park, if not win, on raw sexuality alone. But I guess we have to watch what happens...

Top 3
1. Logan
2. Carol Hannah
3. Shirin