Rock-n-Rolla?

What an episode. What a preview of next week's ten-hanky sobfest!
I think everyone watching will agree that although Suede deserved to be out of the competition long before this, the grace that he exhibited next to the Kenley beast made the reasoning seem questionable.
The challenge: Design a look of for one of your competitors based on an assigned musical genre.
The episode kicked off with model selection and the selection ended with a rare smile from Korto. Is it because she loves and appreciates her model, or is the reason more sinister? Maybe she enjoyed the power of destroying three other models based on her choice?
So the designers did a flip-flop design meeting. Suede decided to steer clear of Jerell's glam rock leanings out of fear of being over the top, which is just what he needed to save his ass.
At Mood, Tim tried to tell Kenley that her floral fabric choice wasn't hip-hop. But why would Kenley listen to Tim, she obviously knows more than him, about hip-hop and about life...sigh.
When Tim does his walk around he tries to tell Kenley her look isn't reading hip-hop. But why listen to anyone's wisdom and experience when you can be a giggly, disrespectful bitch?
"I can't really listen to Tim at this point" -Kenley
Not to split hairs, but when could you listen to Tim? or ANYONE? Do you not realize that while trying to make dramatic television, this show is also a platform to help aspiring designers maximize their potential and network by being a personality? Do you think anyone wants you around the way you treat your collaborators and advisers?
But no, you nailed it. You totally made an outfit fit for Alicia Keys (a well known hip-hop personality) and LL Cool J knows nothing about this genre anyways.
If you can't taste that sarcasm, please realize that not all "black music" is the same genre. There are a myriad of genres such as Rap, R&B, Hip-Hop, Reggae, Jazz, and Blues that are considered, perhaps, the traditional musical realm of black folks, and there are even black rockers and country singers and punkers and pop stars! Oh my!
Kenley just made a regular, store-bought, ugly outfit and covered it with accessories and thought she could fake some sort of connection with a genre she is obviously clueless about. I believe if a humble and hard-working designer like Leanne had pulled Hip-Hop she would have bowed to the knowledge and experience of those around her to create something much better than a stubborn fool like Kenley ever could.
She was so defensive and rude with LL Cool J. The poor guy was backpedaling away from her shrill whining as fast as he could.
It was ironic that the two designers who made the worst outfits were wearing the two best designs, but I guess not unexpected with only 5 people left.
Kenley is a great one trick pony. I love retro and vintage...but I don't like the holier than thou attitude from an immature girl who obviously has a lot to learn.


Suede

Rock and Roll

It was fine, but I agree with the judges about it being way too plain. It was "missing drama."


Jerell

Pop

The dress is fantastic bubble gum pop. Not what I would expect from Jerell, but Jerell is generally tacky and overdone just like pop so it makes perfect sense that it would be a good marriage. I can't believe no one mentioned how the vest that Tim was scared of was ugly. I guess LL did remark that he appreciated the dress more wihtout it. The vest was really an unecessary touch that didn't enhance the outfit.


Leanne

Country

Not bad. Kors was right in saying she "could've notched her up."


Kenley

Hip-Hop

Awful. Painted on pants, stupid look...
She was complaining that Leanne wasn't "selling it". You can't sell that as hip-hop! Especially not to LL Cool J!


Korto

Punk

Very good. Interesting visually, flattering. By far the best of the bunch.

Who will be auf-ed next week? Tune in to find out.

Ooh la la: My twenty-fifth blog entry (the closest I'll come to a milestone)

I'm a few days late and a few dollars short, my usual M.O. lately. I just finished a big project and I should complete my blog in a more timely manner for the last couple of episodes this season.
This week was the TRESemme challenge! Create a head-to-toe makeover for a recent college graduate.
The ep started strong with a harsh burn from Leanne. All of the grads' moms were introduced on the runway and when Heidi announced that they were a part of the challenge, but the designers wouldn't be creating a look for them, there was an audible sigh of relief. You'd think it goes without saying, but no, Leanne actually says "None of us wanna design an old lady outfit to be honest." Doesn't she have a mother? Doesn't she know the target audience of Bravo and Lifetime? Oh the humanity!
Then Heidi brought out the young graduates who seemed dazed and reluctant. She announced the pairings and boy, as usual, Korto's enthusiasm was infectious.
Kenley loves her charge because the first thing the girl says is "I got the pretty one". Kenley says "She's sweet. She reminds me of me." If by sweet you mean stubborn hell-bitch, then yes Kenley, she reminds me of you too, or at least she will when you make her over to be your freakin clone. I was having a Jimmy Stewart-style makeover moment when Kenley has Anna's hair cut and dyed to her specifications (read: Scottie having Judy's hair dyed blonde to look like Madeline). Weirdness.
Jerell was cracking me up. The girl says "I want something androgynous" and Jerell says "I'm making a high waisted pencil skirt". Stop smoking crack. There's nothing androgynous about it, you crazy-hatted twig. He did crack me up with his right on the money crack about Leanne pulling the Hedda Lettuce for this challenge. The daughter was fine, but the mom was a nightmare.
Making fun of Joe's pocket square: Priceless
Then Tim calls a gather round so everyone can meet. Drumroll:
Jeanie SyWHO?
Talk about anticlimactic. Wow, the Tresemme challenge's special guest is a tresemme stylist. Don't phone it in or anything.
So there are two assholes this particular challenge.
Joe:
"I'm not really concerned with Tim saying it's not graphic designer" Auf'd!
Kenley:
"Tim doesn't understand me as a designer. I'm not gonna listen. I never really change anything for Tim"
Maybe if you'd listen you would win some challenges out from under Jerell and Leanne!
Kenley talks smack on everyone. Last ep we got the snotty "I love it when people talk shit right in front of me" comment. I guess it was meant to imply that shit talking belongs squarely behind people's backs. Like poor clueless Suede. Whom Kenley calls a poser. Not that she's wrong...but really, irony much?
Suede bites back with the first observation of Anna as a "miniature Kenley." You know if Suede and Heidi notice and say something...then it's really on the nose. They aren't the sharpest blonde-headed tools in the box.
The guest judge this week was Cynthia Rowley. At least they pulled a name, but I've never really cared for her...She's a little too blandly conservative.
When Kors called Joe out for making a 60 year old's version of professional and Kenley and miniKenley both covered their mouths cackling...that was too much!
That might win for best moment of the season, or at least the best Lynchian moment in PR history.

Joe

Client: Laura, Graphic Designer

The outfit is a hot mess. Too conservative in an off way.

Leanne

Clent: Holly, Elementary School Teacher

I thought it was cute. The jacket wasn't quite there, but maybe that's because she had to retool the dress for superbitch mom. Not that she would make excuses.

Jerell

Client: Caitlin, Artist's Assistant

It was pretty. It was NOT androgynous. Jerell is androgynous.
She said it's what she wanted, but it didn't seem to be what she asked for. Could a 20-something really not know what she wants?

Korto

Client: Meagan, Biologist

I loved the jacket. The dress was ok - cute. I don't think it looked "professional" so I'm gonna have to disagree with Rowley on that one.

Suede

Client: Avital, Photographer

The dress was fine in an ugly pucci-esque purple monstrosity sort of way. But it was much better than that awful Prince jacket monstrosity. Tim is too kind to the Suede. As were the judges, but his time will come. Probably next challenge.

Kenley

Client: Anna, Fashion Buyer

It was cute. I like Kenley's style, just not her mouth. She rubs me the wrong way. She's like the queen bitch of high school.

Bryant Park:
1.Korto
2.Kenley
3.Leanne

Could Jerell edge someone out? Possibly. He just stacked two back-to-back wins under his tiny belt. Will Suede? Only if someone tries to make a garment out of lunch meat on the next challenge...

Out of this World

I was away on mini-holiday, but I'm back and I just finished the ep on my DVR.
This week's challenge was to partner up with an auf-ed designer and create an avant-garde look based on one member of the team's astrological sign. Woo, that's a mouthful. They were judged by 7 designers from previous seasons during an evening at the planetarium inside the American Museum of Natural History (with kooky lighting to make it seem more edgy). Also, there is no more immunity and two designers were eliminated this week. Ah, there's the kitchen sink.
I have a boatload of great quotes, thanks to the inspired pairing of Keith and Terri (proof that there is a God, or at least a producer, with a sick sense of humor).
Keith and Terri's greatest hits:
"Keith's skill level is not the same as mine" - Terri
Keith talking about feeling fragile
Keith telling Terri he wants to be useful and Terri firing back with:
"Maybe he can count the pins that fall on the floor"
"I'm not gonna stand here looking like a fool because she's an angry, bitter person" -Keith
She is an angry, bitter person, but that's not why you're standing there looking like a fool. You are a fool.
"Trust me Terri, you're not the easiest person to work with"-Keith
that was a quote from Keith about someone else!
Terri, in response to Keith calling her darlin':
"Don't call me darlin'"
Hilarious! It sounds like something that Uma Thurman would say before fucking someone up in Kill Bill.
Then there was Blayne's response to being auf-ed for the most hideous thing I've ever seen on the runway:
"Baffled...kinda like a slap in the face"
Actually, getting voted off a competition show for being the bottom of the barrel is exactly like a slap in the face.
Kenley was a super bitch this ep. She seems to be turning bi-polar suddenly...Maybe she ran out of meds or the producers switched them with sugar pills? I'm not gonna blame her period, because I am a woman and that is no excuse!
The 7 guests from past runway seasons were:
Robert Plotnik (aufed 8th ep season 1)
Jay McCarroll (winner season 1)
Daniel Vosovic (finalist season 2)
Kara Janx (aufed 11th ep season 2)
Alison Kelly (aufed 6th ep season 3)
Carmen Webber (aufed 3rd ep season 4)
Christian Siriano (winner season 4)

Kara looked very haggard. I hope she's not ill...
Robert seems to show up a lot, I wonder how many of the judges/producers he nailed during the first season. I'm really curious as to why Carmen was there. I had to actually consult my blog history to figure out where she came from because I didn't recognize her at all. Why put such a forgettable face in the group?
Nina is back this week, which leads me to ask, who says welcome back when they are the one coming back? Isn't that what the people who didn't leave say to you if they missed you?
Guest Judge Francisco Costa was bland.
Overall a great episode for cutting more chaff and funny catfighting!

Aquarius
Korto + Kelli


It's lovely and graceful. Not very out there, but hard to criticize.


Aquarius
Kenley + Wesley


This was just awful. They told her it wasn't original and she argued that she couldn't have imitated anyone because she didn't pay attention to other designers. What a retard. Start listening to constructive criticism and stop being such a stubborn super-bitch. The thing that bothered me the most was that no one mentioned it was just plain ugly. Forget wearable, that's not what avant-garde is about, but it's supposed to be beautiful or at least interesting and provocative. No, I'm not connecting with it when I throw up in my mouth a little.


Aries
Joe + Daniel


I thought that the bodice was absolutely gorgeous. The skirt is not wonderful by itself, but I think the whole look is cohesive and interesting.


Scorpio
Leanne + Emily


It looks so much better in motion. This look was very interesting and provocative visually on the television, but it doesn't translate to photograph as beautifully.

Libra
Blayne + Stella


This is the most awful thing I think I've ever seen on Project Runway. So very, very wrong.

Leo
Terri + Keith


I didn't really get it. I am the first to admit I don't like Terri and I think she makes tacky crap, but I thought this was alright. It doesn't look great, but comparing it to Blayne's is just cruel. Maybe the cheapness was much more apparent in person? The voodoo princess in hell crack was funny.

Sagittarius
Jerell + Jennifer


It's not bad, but it shouldn't have won. I liked the dress underneath, but I wasn't feeling that coat. I like Joe's , Korto's, and Leanne's better. I would've taken any of them over Jerell. For me, his design didn't connect with the challenge at all and the other three designs actually reflected their respective astrological symbols. They didn't really have any explanations regarding how they picked the winner. That was just lazy not to record comments from the judges the night before. Maybe Jerell won on charisma alone during the cocktail party? I can't see Korto's angry stare or Joe's white bread quasi-homophobia winning any admirerers. Leanne is probably a wallflower at a party with her kooky mousiness...that leaves Jerell.


Libra
Suede + Jerry


I thought this was crap. I can't believe they only criticized it for being too off-the-rack and not for looking drab and sloppy and ugly. I think it should've been Suede and Blayne, personally, but I look forward to Suede being kicked to the curb next week. Suede does not have the charisma, and I was thrilled to hear Kors call him out on the Suede talk as being delusional. Was that the first time Suede talked his first person jive on the runway?

Bryant Park
1.Leanne
2.Korto
3.wildcard - Kenley or Joe?

D.V.F-ed

This week's challenge was to create a look for Diane Von Furstenberg's fall collection inspired by the film A Foreign Affair, and in particular the character played by Marlena Dietrich, Erika Von Schluetow (that's a mouthful):


So this is a style inspired by a femme fatale singer with a shady past in the 1940s.
So how did we end up with so much off-the-mark crap?

To start, what was Blayne about with his weird Mary Kate worship? Is he hoping for a spot on her entourage when he gets kicked to the curb?
What's with the waterworks, Kenley? Either she's been a weeper this whole time and they were saving it to misdirect her possible exit this week (I smell blood in the water) or she is really breaking down. She's like Cordelia from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. So pushy and confident when she's not off crying about all the pressure of being so popular and great by herself. I'd pay to see a Kenley vs Venus Schnitzel cage match on pay-per-view.
I've noticed a great undercurrent of Terri hatred in the office. The other designers all have a distrust/dislike of her and her pants. What is it that we're not seeing? Does she stalk around talking about her titties behind the scenes?
Props to Stella for calling out Rachel Zoe, who is horrible. I didn't rip into her last week because she was practically a non-entity in the episode, but seeing the Bravo promo for her show made me glad that PR is escaping to a hopefully better place.

This was quite a savvy cross promotional tie-in on DVF's part. She pimped her label, American Express (she's a spokeswoman who should be seeing some more green), and CFDA (no, not the CA dept of food and agriculture - CDFA) it's the Council of Fashion Designers of America. This is essentially the PETA of the fashion industry, not because it has anything to do with animal rights, but because it attempts to create a code of ethics for American designers. You can order Leanne's winning dress design on DVF's site now for $650:
Leanne's Gorgeous Gown

Fern Mallis covered for Nina this week and DVF filled the guest judge spot. DVF is fabulous enough to cover two spots. In case you don't know who she is, she really is a fashion dynasty. She's been working in the industry for 38 years. She was a huge influence on fashion in the 70's with her jersey knit wrap dress and she experienced a resurgence when she relaunched her label in the late 90's. I just want you to know that to work with her really is an honor (fashion-wise). Now on to the "designs".


Blayne


Awful. Horrid. What is with those short pants?


Jerell

This is way off-base. It looks like a flight attendant costume. The hats are baad.


Joe


It just looked cheap and sloppy all around. Well deserved bottom two.


Kenley


It was not ugly, but it was boring. This shows you the lack of quality designs when this ends up in the top 3.


Korto


Beautiful, but I don't think it relates to Diane's inspiration or current collection at all. It is very clean, modern, (and perhaps unexpected with the pops of yellow) but not mysterious or retro at all. I can't believe they didn't comment on it. Fern Mallis even said she got Saigon off the design - which is a huge leap. It is safari, Miami, beachy, Uli-esque...


Leanne


Gorgeous. Perfection. Listen to Tim, people!

Suede


Disgusting. Kors was right on, totally mismatched like dressing in the dark. Unflattering, haphazard. Didn't Tim tell you the skirt was too full? There was a little too much Suede talk coming out of Suede this week, someone send in a drag queen to slap him.


Terri


The fabric for the pants was nice, but the pants weren't. The whole look was bland.


Stella


The whole thing looked sloppy. The vest was just plain ugly, and I love a vest. Sorry babe, time to go back to Ratbones' lair.