Ooh la la: My twenty-fifth blog entry (the closest I'll come to a milestone)

I'm a few days late and a few dollars short, my usual M.O. lately. I just finished a big project and I should complete my blog in a more timely manner for the last couple of episodes this season.
This week was the TRESemme challenge! Create a head-to-toe makeover for a recent college graduate.
The ep started strong with a harsh burn from Leanne. All of the grads' moms were introduced on the runway and when Heidi announced that they were a part of the challenge, but the designers wouldn't be creating a look for them, there was an audible sigh of relief. You'd think it goes without saying, but no, Leanne actually says "None of us wanna design an old lady outfit to be honest." Doesn't she have a mother? Doesn't she know the target audience of Bravo and Lifetime? Oh the humanity!
Then Heidi brought out the young graduates who seemed dazed and reluctant. She announced the pairings and boy, as usual, Korto's enthusiasm was infectious.
Kenley loves her charge because the first thing the girl says is "I got the pretty one". Kenley says "She's sweet. She reminds me of me." If by sweet you mean stubborn hell-bitch, then yes Kenley, she reminds me of you too, or at least she will when you make her over to be your freakin clone. I was having a Jimmy Stewart-style makeover moment when Kenley has Anna's hair cut and dyed to her specifications (read: Scottie having Judy's hair dyed blonde to look like Madeline). Weirdness.
Jerell was cracking me up. The girl says "I want something androgynous" and Jerell says "I'm making a high waisted pencil skirt". Stop smoking crack. There's nothing androgynous about it, you crazy-hatted twig. He did crack me up with his right on the money crack about Leanne pulling the Hedda Lettuce for this challenge. The daughter was fine, but the mom was a nightmare.
Making fun of Joe's pocket square: Priceless
Then Tim calls a gather round so everyone can meet. Drumroll:
Jeanie SyWHO?
Talk about anticlimactic. Wow, the Tresemme challenge's special guest is a tresemme stylist. Don't phone it in or anything.
So there are two assholes this particular challenge.
Joe:
"I'm not really concerned with Tim saying it's not graphic designer" Auf'd!
Kenley:
"Tim doesn't understand me as a designer. I'm not gonna listen. I never really change anything for Tim"
Maybe if you'd listen you would win some challenges out from under Jerell and Leanne!
Kenley talks smack on everyone. Last ep we got the snotty "I love it when people talk shit right in front of me" comment. I guess it was meant to imply that shit talking belongs squarely behind people's backs. Like poor clueless Suede. Whom Kenley calls a poser. Not that she's wrong...but really, irony much?
Suede bites back with the first observation of Anna as a "miniature Kenley." You know if Suede and Heidi notice and say something...then it's really on the nose. They aren't the sharpest blonde-headed tools in the box.
The guest judge this week was Cynthia Rowley. At least they pulled a name, but I've never really cared for her...She's a little too blandly conservative.
When Kors called Joe out for making a 60 year old's version of professional and Kenley and miniKenley both covered their mouths cackling...that was too much!
That might win for best moment of the season, or at least the best Lynchian moment in PR history.

Joe

Client: Laura, Graphic Designer

The outfit is a hot mess. Too conservative in an off way.

Leanne

Clent: Holly, Elementary School Teacher

I thought it was cute. The jacket wasn't quite there, but maybe that's because she had to retool the dress for superbitch mom. Not that she would make excuses.

Jerell

Client: Caitlin, Artist's Assistant

It was pretty. It was NOT androgynous. Jerell is androgynous.
She said it's what she wanted, but it didn't seem to be what she asked for. Could a 20-something really not know what she wants?

Korto

Client: Meagan, Biologist

I loved the jacket. The dress was ok - cute. I don't think it looked "professional" so I'm gonna have to disagree with Rowley on that one.

Suede

Client: Avital, Photographer

The dress was fine in an ugly pucci-esque purple monstrosity sort of way. But it was much better than that awful Prince jacket monstrosity. Tim is too kind to the Suede. As were the judges, but his time will come. Probably next challenge.

Kenley

Client: Anna, Fashion Buyer

It was cute. I like Kenley's style, just not her mouth. She rubs me the wrong way. She's like the queen bitch of high school.

Bryant Park:
1.Korto
2.Kenley
3.Leanne

Could Jerell edge someone out? Possibly. He just stacked two back-to-back wins under his tiny belt. Will Suede? Only if someone tries to make a garment out of lunch meat on the next challenge...