The SJP episode aka Bite me, Marion.

Team week! This means, all of the designers came up with a concept for some cheap ass clothing ($15 in materials to retail for $40 in Steve and Barry - has anyone seen one of these K-marts of the trendy clothing scene? I haven't.) SJP..."Hello, Gorgeous"

is judging the designs and picking 7 to run with as potential two piece outfits for her Bitten line...
Though there may not be a clear winner this week, there was definitely a CLEAR loser. Oh lord, picking the losers has never been this easy!

So the teams are as such:
Kit and Chris


I love you both darlings, but seriously. Who but a stick could wear that incredibly tight number that's more shirt than tunic and leggings? I don't know how many people I have to tell. Leggings aren't pants, they're just really warm tights...and nobody should be walking around with spandex cloth as the only thing covering their ass. There's a reason Jazzercise is dead. Why did you do it Chris, darling? You should have fought for your curvy sistahs!


Jillian and Rami


Boring. I had to watch the end twice to see what you made. I'm still not sure what the sleeves actually looked like thanks to your lifeless model. There's just so much fabric. It's like a confused and ugly trench coat. Headband has gotta go.


Christian and Carmen


What all-spandex mini dress doesn't say "I'm every woman"? It was so Alaia layered with Members Only jacket I wanted to bust out my:

I totally get the dislike here. But I still love Christian because he's a complicated boy. One second he's rudely cutting off the judges to "hear what Sarah thinks", then he's man-ing up and taking responsibility for his design flopping. You're a classy bitch *kiss kiss*.


Elisa and Sweet Pea


Woman...if the wild child Sweet P has to cross herself in response to your outlandish behavior, you doin' something right. Yes, we were all appalled by your "spit mark" in place of fabric marker or some other "logical" and "sanitary" form of garment marking...but its not like you'll be able to spit on all our clothes if you win honey, unless you stick to true couture. I do have to say, I loved this dress and cape with its "polymorphic" super power...does this mean I can transform into a fire truck? With a spit powered hose?

Jack and Ricky


We all know Ricky picked Jack to win him over with his Latin charm and hats o' plenty. Their dress was one of my two favorites - something I would REALLY wear. That being said, is a dress and a belt really a two piece outfit? No. I think it's a one piece outfit with accessories...Nice try boys.

Marion and Steven


C.R.A.P. A burlap sack with fringe. Wow, with that belt it's so chic. Wait, maybe if I gouge out my eyes? Nope, just like the treatment plant in summer time, I can still smell the shit...

Victorya and Kevin


My darlings, I think Victorya's PR skills sold this one. It was so trendy. Not ugly or even forgettable. But wearable? I think not. Why not let Christian win the first ep if we're doing runway chic? Volume is NOT my friend.

In My Fave 5:
Elisa
Sweet P
Jack
Ricky (but you could cry your way out honey, keep those eyes dry)
Chris (for crying over SJP, god love ya)

Project Runway Ep1

Welcome to my Inauguration into the world of blogging…I, like many of us die hard PR fans, have very strong opinions and attachments to the designers.
Let’s talk about the familiar faces first (no photographic introduction required).
Nina Garcia, who’s always bored, you bore me. You’re an incredibly professional ROBOT with no soul.
Michael Kors, you are sweet, but resemble a pumpkin.
Heidi Klum, you are lovely and have a very nice rack. Your jewelry has been done (though perhaps not at the level of affordability QVC can provide).
The reason we all watch the show (and the much lesser Guide to Style):

You are a golden God.

Now to the crop of Designers


Carmen
You are a very manly lady, but I love a gravely voice. Your outfit was a Rockstar “I Dream of Jeannie” confection that left me nonplussed.



Chris
I love you. You are a more stylish Jay. Your dress was overdone, but I’m sure when you realize you’re not dressing drag queens you’ll tone it down.



Christian
“There’s some hand sewn crap up in here”
You will be the little man everyone loves to hate, but like Santino and Jeffrey before you, I love my bitches. Let your inner cat run wild and tear those losers to shreds with your kitty claws.
Your outfit was runway cute, street fug. Less winking and more wearability please.




Elisa
We understand. You’re a free spirit. You’re obviously talented (at least from the front). But I predict your paste eating and transcendental meditation will get in the way of your commitment to actually finishing. Still, I can’t wait to see what crazy shit you do next.



Jack
Thanks for the free show Mr. Fantastic. I mostly hate you. But I did like your dress, even though it was a little off the rack BCBG.




Jillian
I hated this dress. You are smug.



Kevin
If you have to tell me you’re straight and you have that beard…oh lord. You look like a Gotti boy. Correct yourself. Your dress was fine, but I forgot it already.



Kit
“Life is too short to have a bad outfit”
I think that you are adorable and I like your little outfits. Don’t get too beatnik on me, k? I really liked your McQueen-esque dress.


Marion
You are vanilla pudding. I didn’t even notice you were alive this ep. I just now realized you were responsible for this mess. Please stop shredding everything.



Rami
You are obviously talented, but also obvious. I hope you can do something more avant-garde in the future.



Ricky
Ricky, ricky, ricky. The Tiny Tim bit can only get you so far. I HATE your hats. You are the conductor of the Village People railroad. Your dress was well made but could’ve been off the rack Banana Republic or Betsey Johnson…trite.



Simone
Your dress was sewn by blind monkeys. You won’t be missed.



Steven
My coworker says you are a creepy albino. I think you’re adorable and shy. Keep walkin that line, brother. I thought your suit was boring for runway, but wearable. Punch it up.



Sweet P
America hasn’t really enjoyed watching the older ladies since Golden Girls. I didn’t particularly like your dress. Are you Kit’s mother?



Victorya
I like you. You’re polished and confident and very well-spoken. Keep doing what you’re doing. You took something potentially boring and punched it up perfectly with the arm straps and the flower detail.

In my fave 5 this week:
Kit
Rami
Victorya
Jack
Elisa

Check out my friend Marleax's fly blog:
http://loloscube.blogspot.com/
And thanks to the fabulous BravoTV for all the great pictures!