Welcome to the Freakshow

Welcome back to Project Runway and my blogging and my three readers! Let's see if my skills have gone to pot in the off season.
I'm sure most of you hardcore fans have heard that Project Runway is slated to move to Lifetime after it's fifth and final season on Bravo and that the show's production company - Magical Elves is also being left behind.
So my question is, does Bravo really want people to watch what happens? I didn't see much in the way of project runway promos for this season. It seems to me that a smart network would want to hobble their prize racehorse before it ran against them...I suppose that remains to be seen.
Harkening back to the first design challenge of Project Runway Season 1, the designers had to find materials to make a design in Gristedes grocery store.
Darling Austin Scarlett appeared looking like Willy Wonka.

Well, first things first. Does everyone else hate Blayne as much as I do? Not in the Santino Rice sort of mustache-twirling villian way, but in the "when can we stop looking at it" sort of way? His manufactured catch phrases, so much less endearing than Christian, and his manufactured tan make him the most annoying contestant I've yet seen on the show. PS, who believes this fake ass bitch's name is really Blayne Walsh? He made up a name that was an amalgamation of Pretty in Pink and 90210 and manages to capture the tackiness of both. If that's not annoying enough, let's spell Blayne with a "Y"! Why is this kid on this show and not in Diablo Cody's entourage?

Call me ageist if you want, but Stella and Terri are both hideous. Both look like they did too many drugs, both are too skinny. Two hot trannie messes!
It doesn't help that I hate both of their aesthetics as well. Terri's lookbook pages included some of the most heinous crap I've ever seen.
There are about four girls with precious girly style and red lipstick that all seem like the same person to me. Where's the girl who wears jeans?
It seems like experience makes designers too practical. I was disappointed in the lack of boldness/innovation in their materials selection.


Emily Brandle

This chick reminds me of Taryn Manning if she didn't look like a drugged-out prostitute. Maybe TM is Emily's evil twin.

Tablecloth, Balloons, Napkins, Bouncy Ball

This out was pretty meh. The only interesting part was the neck ruff and was so reminiscent of Chris' speciality last season but with a poorer execution.


Jerell Scott


Tablecloth, Lawn Chairs, Cocktail Umbrellas, Koosh Ball

Looks like the waitress uniform for a Mexican restaurant.


Leanne Marshall


Tablecloth, Meringue Cookies, Coffee Filters, Marshmallows

Cute. Safe materials. Boring results.


Korto Momlu

Has the most amazing name ever. Sounds like a movie title.
She is either very reserved or a bitch. Only time will tell. I do love her makeup.

Tablecloth, Kale, Bell Peppers, Cherry Tomatoes

Beautiful colors. I loved the vegetables. There was too much dress for me. Short hem or shorter sleeves wouldn't been less overwhelming.


Jennifer Diederich


Paper Towels and Lipstick

Tragically safe and forgettable, just like Jennifer. The only positive thing I can say is, at least there's no tablecloth.

Daniel Feld


Plastic cups and muslin

Loved it. Beautiful color, classic design. Dress for a siren.
He has the reserved energy of Daniel V.


Terri Stevens


Mop Heads and Tablecloth

Crap.


Suede

Quotes: "Suede needed to make millions for Suede"; "Whackadoodle"
This guys annoys me. He's not that likable and the one named factor ain't helping.

Tablecloth and Doggie Waste Bags

So ugly! Bad length, bad neckline, hideous fabric. How'd this snake by the bottom 3?

Stella Zotis


The quote master general!
"I'm gonna make what I do"<--What the hell does that even mean?
She looks like Cher might've looked after hard drugs and no plastic surgery. Then she complains about the quality of her garbage bags "The aesthetic might turn out to be garbage" the worst part is, she didn't seem to be conscious of any irony. "If I'm the first eliminated designer I'm gonna be the jackass of the nation" No ma'am, I think that title is safe with President Bush, and I was surprised that this self fulfilling prophecy didn't come to pass. I guess they expect you to do something interesting?

Garbage Bags

Sigh.


Joe Faris

A straight man with kids...interesting.

Oven mitts, Pasta, Muslin, Tomato Can Labels

Hideous top, great skirt.

Kenley Collins


Dodge Ball, Lawn Chair, Tablecloth

For me this dress just works. The model was particularly great.


Jerry Tam

We get it. You're hot shit. You think you're slumming. Of course your design sucks.

Shower Curtain, Tablecloth, Gauze, Napkins, Rubber Gloves

Nuts!
The American Psycho comment was right on. This was no April Showers, May Flowers...


Wesley Nault


Tablecloth, Fly Swatter, Plastic Cups

Okay. Doesn't flatter the model. Doesn't have much visual interest. We saw much worse.


Blayne Walsh

Ugh. Please stop saying Girlicious. In fact, please stop talking. I beg you.

Drawer Liners, Shoelaces, Jump Rope, Potholders

I can appreciate it for being different. A train wreck is powerfully interesting to look at too. It couldn't be further from my taste. Too bad this picture doesn't have Girlicious written on the model's thigh (as it was on the runway).

Kelli Martin

"It's gonna be a pretty ugly dress, for sure. Pretty ugly in a great way"
Is that like Steve Buscemi? I'm not sure that something can actually be ugly in a great way, at least not in my experience.

Vacuum Bags, Bleach, Dye, Coffee Filters, Thumbtacks, and Notebooks

Pretty. Interesting. Great show of ingenuity. I can't fault them for giving it to her.


Keith Bryce


Tablecloth, Laundry Bags, Car Shade

Safe. Pretty, but boring, just like him.

The End is the Beginning

Well, this is the end, my friends. My blog idea certainly had a limited shelf life. Now I have a mess of downtime until the next season of PR starts up. I have decided at the moment to only discuss the broad strokes of the finale. Perhaps later, when I yearn to blog once again, I will discuss the individual pieces in finer detail.

I know many that would heartily disagree with me, but for me, this was the best season of Project Runway. Not necessarily for entertainment value, mind you. But as a design competition television show, these designers were the highest level of talent the show has seen thus far. Think about previous seasons. I always had one favorite. One of the designers was head and shoulders above the others in season 1 and 2 (Kara Saun, Chloe Dao). Really, Wendy Pepper was terrible. I love Daniel V so much, but he was far too meek design-wise to be one of the finalists. His collection was so bland. Honestly, I feel that Season 3 was the talent low point of the show. I was not very excited by any of the final collections. Michael's collection was abysmal. They were all very uneven.

This was the first ever season where I truly would've been happy with any of the three finalists winning from a collection standpoint. I feel that Christian was the most meritorious (would benefit the most from the money) and the most likable of the final three designers, and so I was happy to see him come out on top.

I am by no means, a fashion expert. But let me offer my perspective and my little bit of Vogue-reading expertise to those who feel that Christian's collection was too costume-y and not wearable. There are basically two major kinds of shows in the fashion world. There are prêt-à-porter or ready-to-wear shows (these terms are interchangable) and there are couture shows. What it comes down to is this. Every single Bryant Park runway show that has ever been shown on project runway contained at least some ready-to-wear pieces, and I would go so far as to qualify them all as ready-to-wear. All of the past winners have been ready-to-wear designers. I would put forth that Chrisitan's show was the first couture show ever to be featured in a Project Runway finale. Every single thing he put on the runway was designed for a gay man/for a model/as a piece of art. He had nothing "wearable" by anything less than Posh Spice's standards. He is a forward-thinking, edgy, couture designer. Will he succeed in the fashion industry without commercial appeal? Only time will tell if he will take his place among the Alexander McQueens and Vivienne Westwoods that are his idols. He needs to learn or work with people that can make his vision marketable. He is no doubt talented. I don't love his aesthetic, but I can recognize and respect his talent.

Did Jillian and Rami make pieces I liked much better and could see myself wearing? Absolutely. Did I think they had a more cohesive collection? No. Rami deserved his place in the top two. He made a lot of beautifully designed pieces. Jillian made some great things. I hated her hats and felt the knitwear to be out of place. It was all very skilled, but felt that just like her model choices, her pieces were too eclectic to represent a strong point of view. Rami should have made a twelve piece collection of Oscar dresses. That is his calling. Jillian should find her place in the ready to wear world. Her collection was definitely the most wearable and had the most commercial appeal. So endeth the lesson.

Jillian








Rami







Christian